i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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