I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
