New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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