Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
