How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
