Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
