Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
