I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
