You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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