Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize