I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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