making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
