its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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