wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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