I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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