Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize