if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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