erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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