WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
