you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she smelled like a LAN party
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
