the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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