Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
