today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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