Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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