He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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