hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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