if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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