Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
