so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
