This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
