i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
