The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
