You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
