and she was petting her beer can
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
