The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
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she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
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I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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