Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
