he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
