I showed him my bush... on skype.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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