used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
