Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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