dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just high enough for therapy.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
