come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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