just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
