mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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