I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
