All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
