I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
