so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just had sex on a roof
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
