five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
