yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
