Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
