Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
