sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
