I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
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it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
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Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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