He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
