i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So much rum. So many feels.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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