It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
