Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
