So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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