Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
