the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
