remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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