i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Randomize
