if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
