i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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