he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
