Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
