brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
