Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
