Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
