Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
