i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The struggles of a small town man whore
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
