We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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